Save Indian Family (SIF)

D.N.Barola

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SIF (Save Indian Family) movement.

We are in an era of Media Trial. Media have been highlighting the Women’s point of view in a big way and Men are shouted down when they try to put their point of view in any TV debate. The Anchor in such cases is mostly a Lady, who poses to be a votary to the cause of women. Damini gang rape, no doubt, was a horrific and barbarous act and every one – men and women alike- voiced their feeling to demand Capital punishment for the culprits. Men supported women in every way. India is a democratic country. In a democracy the other person’s point of view is equally important. This is the reason the Court gave a patient hearing to the Lawyers of the accused and after granting full opportunity to both the sides to put up their case without fear the Court pronounced Capital punishment to the all the accused. Thus justice was done to Damini. The juvenile accused however got 3 years in ‘Bal Sundhar Grih’ (Reform facility), which was the maximum punishment for a juvenile as per the law of the land, which everybody felt was a small punishment for such a dastardly act by the juvenile.
The Men’s voice was echoed by the son of the President of India’s Abhijit Mukherjee, M.P. who spoke to the Media echoing Men’s sentiments, which were harshly condemned by the Women’s Organisations and he was made to eat his own words. His unconditional apologies only could console the Women’s organisations. But by this time he had spoken what he wanted to speak. The message had been flashed through the Media to every corner of the country and the people, men and women alike were saying that he had spoken the truth, but nobody dared to speak against the Women’s Organisations in the Media. Certain things men cannot digest, for example Women’s Organisations want Legal and social acceptance of pre-marital rape. They also demand liberty to women to walk down the streets of the cities in late night as well, as is allowed to the males. They demanded that it is the duty of Sheila Dixit Government to provide security to the women walking in the streets of Delhi at the dead of night. They tacitly advocate acceptance of western culture, but they forget that in Western Countries when the boys and girls attain majority, they are expected to lead their lives independently without any thing to do with the parents. But in India, even today, it is the solemn religious and moral duty of the parents, in view of massive attachment with the children, to arrange and fully finance the marriage of their son and daughters and prior to that fully finance and arrange for their higher education even when they have become adult and also to try for their proper employment. In return children are not ready to accept the responsibility of looking after their old and ailing parents. They prefer being nearer to their in-laws, because wives’ want greater association with their parents. Thus instead of looking after the husband’s parents, they prefer to look after their parents. If Women Organisations want social acceptance of pre-marital sex, they should also ask the children to leave their parent’s home, after attaining the age of majority, so that the money which the parents spend in their marriage and higher studies becomes a good source of their livelihood in their old age.

Sometimes back I was watching a TV debate about Damini gang rape, in which a male Panelist said that in Delhi rape cases are increasing. The reason is mostly liquor. Hence something should be done to prohibit selling of liquor in the evening as the rape cases normally take place after intoxication. Two Women Panelists resented vociferously and made the Men Penalist to shut their mouths. The Lady Anchor hastily ignored this all and switched over to other Panelists. Awindra Pandey, friend of Damini who tried to save her from the culprits was also ignored by the Women’s Organisations. Is it that because he was a man?
In Damini case, the then Chief Justice of India Justice Altamas Kabir said that if he had his say he would have gone to raise his voice in the then ongoing agitation against Damini rape. Woman Organisations would have taken a note of it. It is therefore crystal clear that Men are equally worried about what is happening with the women in our society. Everybody including Women Organisations feel that it is the parents who can give moral education and ‘sanskar’ to their children. But they forget that today the children are not under the control of their parents. The boys demand a Mobile at the age 3 to 5 years and a Bike at the age of 10 years. Girls say that their parents are doing partiality with them and now they also demand a Mobile and Scooty at a tender age. The parents are helpless. In case their demand is not met, they would boycott food and threaten to commit suicide. So parents somehow arrange for the money and give them what they want. In some cases the children become a prey to the Bike accidents and leave their parents to weep and repent throughout their life.

Now Rajya Sabha has passed a Bill in which provision has been made to grant inheritance right in the parental property of the husbands. Now the girls will get property from three sources i.e. their father, husband and father-in-law. But they forget normally husband’s purchase property in the name of their wives. They also hand over their full salary or income to their wives and beg money from their wives, from time to time, for their personal needs. Now they will be scared and would think hundred times before handing over their full salary to them or purchasing property in the name of their wives. Women Organisations feel that pre-marital sex, divorce, Maintenance allowance etc. should be allowed to the women as a matter of right for which Laws have already been framed. But they forget that boys are badly being harassed, simply because they are males. Hence the latest alternative which boys are brooding over is Live-in-relationship, which is already in vogue in metros. Marrying a girl means you are bringing a ‘live time-bomb’ which may explode any time, because now a Lady can lodge an FIR from her husband’s house through internet or mobile phones as well. They are not required even to go to a Police Station. Their simple information through internet etc. would authorise the Police to arrest the husband pending investigation. Women’s Organisations also want Marital Rape as an offence. This all is hitting at the very root of family system. They want a still more strict Section 498-A and Dowry Act. They lament in such cases the conviction rate is only 2%. The fact is most of the cases lodged against husbands are false. Naturally the conviction rate has to be 2% or so. The Supreme Court took a notice of it and termed this as ‘legal terrorism’. The woman organisations are not ready to accept the men’s view point. As a result of FIR by his wife a husband who had to go to Jail and consequently gets bail prefers to lead a lonely life, instead of accepting the lady to lead a marital life afresh. Not only that he prefers to go to Jail even if found guilty instead of bringing the lady, who is once again gets armed with all sort of anti-men laws, if she is back to her husband’s home. Thus the family system gets shattered. The girl also repents because normally she finds no prospects of re-marriage in the present Indian society. But it is already too late. By this time her age also grows, hence the chances of re-marriage diminish further. The Women Organisations should think seriously as to how to save the Indian Families. They should call SIF activists and hear their point of view. We all agree that in rape cases, particularly in children rape cases and gang rape cases capital punishment is a must, but in all other cases we must think in terms of how the Indian Family System can be saved and in case Women’s Organisations do not agree to this, divorce should become easier, Section 498-A and Dowry Act like anti-men provisions should be out of the Statute or should be diluted. These organisations should not be allowed to cook the cake and eat it too. It is pertinent to mention that all Men are not rapists. It is the Men who look after the women and do all sort of sacrifices for them. They have great regard and affection for the woman. The women, being kind hearted, respond to the Men in every way. The fact is there is no existence of men without women and there is no existence of women without men. Women Organisation should not make this matter ‘Men versus Women’. They should not shout down or overpower men while speaking in a debate as a Panelist. Women organisations should talk about all the rape cases which are brought to them by the people or Media. A Police Lady Constable was raped in Jharkhand in August last, while she was bringing the dead body of his relative from Ranchi to Latehar about which there was not a single word from the Women Organisations, why? The topic of the day is how to save Indian families? SIF (Save Indian Family) a man’s organisation is doing good work in this direction. The Government and the woman organisations should also take them into confidence. The Government should also consider whether time is ripe when a ‘Purush Ayog’ should also be established to look after the grievances of men who suffer at the hands of woman? This will go a long way in saving Indian Families.

D.N.Barola, President, Press Club, Ranikhet Uttarakhand India